I’ve been reading Catch-22, but that’s not relevant, right now. I’ll likely review it when I’m finished. But for now, I would like to share with you my catch-22.

Winter is going to be incredibly harsh. The heating has been broken since the start of summer. We can’t afford to get it fixed. Our only real source of heat it the gas fire. If we use the gas fire, we won’t freeze to death, but we will get carbon monoxide poisoning. If we don’t use the gas fire, we will freeze to death.

That’s right, I’m back! I apologise to those of you who were rather hopeful I had simply dropped dead, and that that was why I had stopped posting. 
I returned, late last night, from my holiday in Scotland.
I shan’t bore you with the details, but here is a brief overview of what happened:

It was a good few days. Apparently. All I know is that I was very, very sick, I remember nothing other than that, and I woke up in the morning with a set of lines telling me that I had two and a quarter litres of Strongbow, and the words you are drunk. written on my palm by goodness knows who.

I’ve missed Tumblr. I’ve missed you all. We should all elope, somewhere. 

When I went on my first official date with my boyfriend, we went to the cinema. Nothing funny about that (unless you have a warped sense of humour, in which case, cackle away, my friend). We sat there, hand in hand, waiting for the film (Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy) to start, watching the adverts. One advert turned up, and, immediately, I could guess at its content. I was right. As the advert progressed to its end, it displayed an enormous range of Durex Play items. I had, with unintentionally, yet perfect timing, glanced over at my boyfriend. We made eye contact for only a second before killing ourselves laughing. As did all the older members of the audience. The woman next to me even turned to her friend, discussing how they assumed each product was used.

You just can’t plan these things.

Too much Yogscast, not enough sleep.

Can’t remember which episode of Dead Island this is from, but it was hilarious. I strongly recommend watching the Dead Island play-through of theirs. 

Rum shots.

That’s the first thing I should mention. The second thing I should mention is that they’re slow acting. This is something I only remembered to ask after four or five shots. By my seventh shot, I could feel the magic working, and I remember people cheering me on to drink more. Which I did.

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I cannot place when this occurred, (I had a mass of nights in which I got asked to the pub and many random house parties with people I don’t know) but earlier today, a fuzzy memory returned to me.. Something about me and some girl talking about putting children in the back of our van and shouting “GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!!” and “You can have free sweets!”