A Ride With A Mad Man In A Box
They descended upon us in swarms of metal. Fires burned and cities fell. Yet all the time the Doctor and I ran. We ran for our lives. We ran through bronzed sparks of destruction towards hope. And as each life lost, each house crumbled and the metal lords took over, the closer we came to death, I realised something;
I had never felt so alive.
Could have gone to Brighton with my lover, tonight, had I not been dumped on my grandparents by my mother who is bored of looking at me. So, yeah, this is how I spent my night, making ‘outfits’ in a weird pixel chat, of the various ‘doctors’.
I give up. I need to go to a piss-up.
*Before you ask: It’s a retro. I don’t waste my money on coloured pixels. /Justsayin.
They hang around in churches, clinging to the bowels of existence..
I was at church, and we were all stood there, and I was able to take the whole service serious enough until the woman next to me started singing. Things went downhill from there, especially when the rev said “Remain standing for the silence”.
Then I’m just stood there, staring up at the ceiling, expectantly, thinking “That bloody reverend’s sold us to aliens. For f*cks sake! This is exactly why I stopped going to church, the last time!”
Doctor Who Series Finalé, Tonight!
Little Mr Moffat sat in his boardroom, eating his curds and whey, when along came a spider, and turned into glider, and the plot ran away with the spoon.
Seriously, though, this episode better have been worth the months of waiting. My balls can’t take the ache no more.
First time I saw the fifth Doctor:
[WARNING! TIRED RANT ZONE] Doctor What The F*ck Oh My God Barbeque
I am, generally speaking, a very patient person, but when it comes to a wonderful television series taking a possible turn for the worse, I’m not so patient.
You see, I completely understand that there is likely a much bigger, intricate plan for the series that
little miss muffet Steven Moffat has made, which is all well and good, (actually, there are many things I could highlight about that, theories, e.t.c, but I will hold my peace. For now.) but then we’re suddenly thrown a very singular episode with possibly no relevance to the rest of the series. Yeah, I like that sort of thing, and I get that ‘dying’ time lords may wish to venture forth through the universe and have a bit of fun, but not when a psychopathic time lady is on the loose. Really, guys, come on! A bit of timing..
The first episode back really got on my wick. Oh, yeah, there were comical elements, but it felt somwhat dry and irrelevant. Also, you can’t just leave Hitler in the cupboard. You need to let him come out. AH-HA-HA-HA BOOM BOOM! .. I need some rest.
(I apologise for any offense caused by this post. Please send complaints to the address below)
If you have ever wondered what fish fingers and custard taste like, I can honestly tell you that it’s a recipe I will be using again.